Archives

  • ten reasons to ignore the collapse of our economy and government

    I went to the dentist recently. Nice enough guy—white, late 30s, the kind of man whose golf handicap is probably more important to him than, say, voting rights or the climate crisis. While I…

  • The sack of bricks bulletin

    “Heavy on sarcasm, light on IQ points.” Breaking News: Elon Musk Calls Peter Navarro ‘Dumber Than a Sack of Bricks’ And honestly? The bricks are offended. In a rare moment of clarity (or maybe…

  • ladies, wake the hell up

    I cannot believe I have to say this in 2025, but here we are. While far too many women are obsessing over the perfect shade of gel polish or the latest TikTok contour trend,…

  • the fine art of helping yourself while pretending to help others

    Ah, Ukraine. That plucky little country that just keeps refusing to roll over and let itself be plundered like a well-stocked general store in a town with no sheriff. You have to admire their…

  • Elon’s Chainsaw massacre

    Here are a couple of snarky headline choices for your letter: Dear Fellow Americans, Well, here we are. Another day in this magnificent experiment of democracy, and another moment that leaves us wondering if…

  • The fine art of swindling

    My dear fellow Americans, particularly those who have perfected the fine art of shooting themselves in both feet and then demanding the government take away their crutches—allow me a moment of your time. I…

  • Doge nothing burger

    “DOGE’s $55 Billion ‘Savings’: A Drop in the Ocean of Trillion-Dollar Tax Cuts” In the grand theater of fiscal policy, the Trump administration has unveiled a plan to bestow tax cuts ranging from $5…

  • Ah yes, ukraine the mischiveous little nation that invaded itself

    Fellow citizens, gather ‘round, for I bring you a tale so rich in irony, so steeped in absurdity, that only the most devoted acolytes of a reality-defying demagogue could whisper it with a straight…

  • Who the hell is this rapper?

    Like many of you, I had no idea who Kendrick Lamar was beyond knowing he was a young rap artist, and I wasn’t exactly excited for his Super Bowl halftime show. When I watched…